Simple life

Simple life.

It's a choice to live simple. Sometimes it is challenging. It's a fine balance between comfy standard of living and principle.

It gives me freedom to have less attachment.
For example.
I was living a great happy life then when Ben showed in my presence in Peru we started talking about my possessions from the past and talking about how little money he sold my stuff for. It was stressful and letting go was definitely a process. There is still one jacket that lingers on my mind every once in a while. Then I go long period of time without it in my mind.

After loss of my osprey bag, Buying that leather bag was a great decision. Not too big but big enough for all the necessity and its definitely never so full that I struggle to zip it.

It was a struggle to make a decision to buy the raincoat. Harsh weather condition in Georgia was unbearable. Reminder of motorcycle crashes were two lessons enough to not ride in a wet road freezing my bones off. Yet, decision did not come so easy because my saddle bags are already full enough. Sure I can loosen the straps and pull them tight to hold more but it requires me to fold all my clothes neatly and tightly. It is a question of comfort and standard of living. More I have more options I have. More comfortable I can live. But it is matter of principle to not to buy another bag or bungee cord. My bike is huge compared to what I used to have. I am only 135lbd and this bike can hold up to 400lbs. But do I really want to drAg that stuff every time I want to move? I don't need all of that. Everything I need are here. I don't need furnitures because anywhere I sleep they are there. After all, all I need is a bed.

Albany GA. was the last destination in Georgia. After that I headed south. I knew it would be Warmer. So there was a matter of keeping this green blanket from Angelica which kept us warm throughout our travel and for me was since I decided to live in Fernando s house which was since July. Decision to Break off our 6 months relationship came as I figured this blanket would serve homeless better than me and Georgia is colder than Florida. I was afraid that my new home in Florida would not have blankets and that I would need it but I told myself that I had enough clothes to keep me warm.

Getting rid of that blanket gave me cushion in my saddle bags not to fold clothes tightly every time I loaded thence. If its warm I can afford to leave all the gears And just wear leather jacket and sun glasses.

No helmet law. It gives me pleasure to wear least amount and just ride. Just hop on turn it and go. When I get off, I turn it off pull the key out and just walk. As if it is a bicycle. It's simple.

Of course if I need gloves, peacoat, rain gear, they are all ready behind me. I felt that simplicity from riding in warmth today and saw many bikers. I think I can understand the characters of bikers. Almost always cruiser riders have beard, bandana covered their forehead, pony tails, long hair. When I looked in the mirror my long beard, my long hair sleek back from wind messy, shape of wind showed me who I am becoming or already am.

Yet, I shaved today. It's been over two months since I shaved. They were long. All down the drain. Now I don't have something to pull from my chin.

Right now I am going through another complication. Whether to buy chaps. It's a typical biker uniform. I have been against it. When I thought if my ride back up to Atlanta for biometric appointment in USCIS, I saw 40-50 degrees in Atlanta. Now I am getting better at keeping myself warm for rides and know the importance behind it. Definitely know the importance of not crashing my bike. Chaps would block the wind and keep my lower body warm which right now is the location loses most of hear. But it also means having more things getting in my way of simple life. I won't be gone long out of Florida yet if Florida weather is to get colder and if I ever want to make a trip to Missouri it might be a good decision to get one now.

Lets try with leggings first and see how far I go.

Top best travel film

Motorcycle diaries
Into the wild
The way
Y tu mama tambien
One week
180 south

The giant mechanical man (not a travel film)

Motorcycle diary 2

Motorcycle diary 2
Dec 23 2012

I am physically exhausted. Have sore throat. Slept in until 3pm. Feel cold.

So i have been in search for a permanent home. When I was in Albany Ga. I thought I found one in leesburg. But turned out to be not an ideal home. One mattress. Super cold room. Owner had nothing. He gave me Five sheets But don't fit to mattress. Nothing in the kitchen. Not even salt and pepper. Just owners pots and pans and few silverware. Normally when you are renting this is no big deal. People already own furnitures but I don't do I looked under room share section of the Craigslist for ready furnished place. Bottom line is I don't like this place. So I rent it for a week and search for new home again.

On 21st, I finally find two but its already 5pm. Houses are both close to each other but two hours away from me. Which forces me to ride in the dark in a cold night. The cold night part I underestimated it was one of the coldest night around here. My direction took me to toll high way. It was annoying to keep pulling over to pay, it's not as simple as driving a car and reaching over the cup holder for coins while still driving.

I visit the first house. It was beautiful. Nice neighborhood. Paying hundred more than what I am and makes huge difference. 25 guy who has landscaping business lives there and it's his fathers house. Second house was nice too. Owner does not live there 5 bed rooms three people living. He liked me I could tell GE just talked for an hour about house life money. But he was a control freak even told me his Myers Briggs letters INTJ then he told me he is extroverted.

Ride back was so cold. My hands and lower body felt numb. Upper body only I had multi layer. Under armor, two shirts, leather jacket and peacoat.

I got back home. Frozen up. Put the left over food on the stove and took a hot shower.

Yesterday. I got out of the house at 5:40am to go to west palm beach. Turns out my map direction took me to bunch of till roads. Yesterday annoying experience taught me not to get in those. There are plenty of good free roads. This got me way far behind schedule. This time I put on my rain gear for extra warmth. I just went east until I hit interstate 95. By the time I got there sun was about 45 angle up in the sky. I packed away my rain gear, had a coffee and sausage biscuit at McDonald and recalculated ETA. I was going to be forty min late. But that thought went away when I got on the freeway. Speed limit is 70. But everyone was going 80-85. I followed this car that was going 90. This was fastest I have been on this bike or on any motorcycle. It was windy, shaky, pushing me left and right. I had to look out for bumps and lines, pay attention to curves and any cars on the side may cut me, cars coming behind me, check for break lights for sudden stops, construction zone weird lanes and land marking and of course state patrol. Funny thing was two state patrol did not pull me or other speeding cars over. I saw two sheriffs pass me when I was going 80 at one point.

So I made it to my destination 20 min late, getting 45 mpg which is terrible, usual is 55-57mpg, only to be disappointed. Ugly messy house in ugly neighborhood. Room had refrigerator and microwave and bathroom but she just wanted me to use that and live the door to house locked while using other door to go in and outside. When I asked her about kitchen she said no and that was the deal breaker.

By this time I was warm and glad to be in southern Florida. I get a call from second house land lord saying she Misinterpreted message and now there won't be anyone to show me the house. I said I woke up 5am to look this house then she goes "but you were looking at houses right?" Manipulative. But I looked at the house anyway. Gated community. Ok looking small house. It did feel homey. Looked like they moved in yesterday and already their own way set up and I didn't like it. I assumed utility bill of $150 for a tiny house and then $120 for wifi a lie. I was disappointed. Found some leads. So I followed it. He was not home and did kit answer the phone. Later he called when I was about to enter freeway but I didn't answer.

By this time it's around
1:30pm had to decide whether to go to fabrizio s pot luck in st Petersburg which starts at 2pm and takes four hours to get there or go to Miami to check out another place. I chose Miami and rode another 1.5hrs. Funny thing happened. My phone is dead. Which it shouldn't have been. I had plenty of battery only thing u could think of was dropping it in McDonald. I plugged it in and waited and waited no response I was saying good bye to this phone. Luckily I remembered the address and by reading street signs and grid system found the house. Nobody was there. Ghetto neighborhood. Ghetto apartment. There were four I knocked on all of them nobody answered. I went to McDonald again to see if my phone would work but no. There everyone spoke Spanisg. Kids yelling in Spanish, lady making order and the guy taking the order all. There was even a girl with backpack selling music CDs for a dollar! Old man next to me playing with his new lap top talking in Spanish. Then I had to go to bathroom and I asked him."señor yo voy al bano puede ciudad Mia cosas?" He was surprised but understood everything. People around looked at me. I was not sure if it was because I was the only Asian there or because I spoke Spanish. It's the look I was exposed to for a year throughout travel. Outsider, foreigner, tourist, traveler, non local, etc. no luck. I checked out downtown but feared for cold weather ride back and rushed back north. I went fast on I-95 Witt lasting warmth and sun on my left hiding away leaving me with darkness and chill.

I stopped at gas station to get a coffee and put on my rain gear when I couldn't bear the cold no more.

With no phone, no map, I had to figure out my way back home. It's only been two days I lived there. I was not certain how to trace back. I relied on signs and my intuition and yes I made it back all in one piece getting better at dealing with cold and where and how to cover myself. Going to the bodies exhibit was very helpful because now I know where big arteries are and leaving them cold is fatal to maintenance of body temperature. My legs chills the blood and chest warns the blood.

I had a cold beer and had left over soup and passed out.


After 600+ miles ride and half in cold weather, a beer and chicken soup hit shower
When I awoke I had a sore throat and have not left bed for three hours.

MOtorcycle diary

Motorcycle diary

For the first time I went on a ride as a group. I was always curious and imagined what it would be like. This could only happen in US.

It all happened because I met Kari. Kari is a friend of terisa, my first couchsurfing host in USA. When I told terisa that I am going to buy a harley to travel across US, She immediately thought of Kari and introduced us on the phone. Kari rode her Harley and travels across US. she couchsurfered and pitched tent and rode her sportster 1200 for 14,000km. She faced near death situations, blown tired, snow storm and meeting many kind bikers.

When I arrived in Atlanta, I reached her it and drove to her house, she conversed about our travel stories and passion for bike. When she was telling her long detailed story about her road trip I was all ears, especially the part about failing to make it to yellow stone. There'd was so much snow that she was prohibited to enter, she showed me the picture of her bike surrounded by snow. This was most audacious, daring, adventuresome part of her story. As a girl traveling alone, pitching tents to sleep and majority of the time cold. She travels seven months across US and he trip began in sept.

I remember crossing mountains in Colombia and Ecuador and how freezing cold it was, feeling numbness in my legs and hands. Shivering my whole body for hours and hours, desperate for anything hot.

Before her journey she lost hundred pounds though dedicated weight loss program, diet and exercise.

So clearly she is a cool person and she promised to go on a ride together.

So after staying with Keary (CS host in Atlanta, real cool guy and we got along well) for a week, I packed my stuff in my two saddle bags and headed toward Kari's house to surf for couple days and hang out with her for Saturday and Sunday.

Today is Saturday. As soon as I arrived at her driveway, I unpacked my saddle bags and rode out to meet with her friend who rides fat boy. His bike was huge and fat. Fat tires, seats, frame, everything.

Kari s friend took a lead, Kari followed then me. We followed each other diagonally from each other. I watched way they handled corner, brake usage, clutch usage, posture and acceleration.

We went and I was cold. It's definitely my pants. I need two layers for my legs. They laughed when I put on my peacoat over my leather jacket. I liked it because I was not advertising harley Davison on my clothing and being not a typical biker all leathered out.

We stopped at the viewpoint top of the mountain. We stood there and conversed bout our travel stories, accidents and passion for bikes. There three bikers there. They were on BMW and Ducati. Enduring and touting bikes. We did not talk to them nor did they talk to us.

We ended our journey and Kari and I came back to her house. By the time we got back we were seriously cold and tired from the cold weather. But we still managed to hit up the cool house club/bar where keary and I went to.

Im looking forward to my road trip back to Florida.

Bolivia - salar d uyuni

Salar d uyuni

Journey in Bolivia just gotten better. From the Santa Cruz to get to the uyuni is to go to potosi but we missed the bus and were advised to wait a day. It would have been a good idea because I found a Korean grocery store where they sell kimchi, Korean ramen, tofu and many other goods. Angelica was as excited as I was when I brought her tofu and kimchi and told her my discovery. But I didn't have anymore desire to stay in Santa crUz. By this time I am feeling that my travel time is running out and I wanted to be in the desert as soon as possible. Plus I was really for the idea to rent a car to explore the desert.

Since we missed the bus to potosi, we took a bus to tarija. Road condition was relatively nice. It was peaceful town. We found hostel with a kitchen and made Korean pancake. The lady I bought green onion from gave me so much for e little money that I gave her. With that I made enough pancake to feed ten people which means we had lots of left over had it over dinner breakfast and lunch.
Tarija had great produces, temperatures was warm. We even went to a fancy restaurant and had delicious vegetarian pizza and used wifi for few hours.

When were ready to leave tarija, we faced a problem. At the bus terminal there are no direct bus to uyuni where we can enter the desert. We were advised to go to potosi. We did not like that idea at all because we would be back tracking. Thankfully we have a Colombiana who speaks native Spanish and found a alternative route to go to tupiza and from there we can go to uyuni.

What do you know? Tupiza is also by the desert and they offered tours to the desert. We arrived 6am and we looked around and walked around everywhere to rent a car. There were no official companies renting cars. Only the random guy at the street offering a ridiculous price. At the end we finally gave in and decided to do the tour. We checked out few places. Majority of tours were leaving at 8am. So we were being rushed to come to a decision.

Every places we went prices were similar plus minus of $10, all suggesting four day tour, same route and same program (food, accommodation).

When we got to place called La torre. Lady offered the significantly lower price. She told us that all the tour companies had agreement to keep the price same. She said couple people fell out and she is trying to fill the spots and asked us not to tell any locals about it.

I was inclined to just do it. However, Angelica was tired. Road from tarija to tupiza was all bumpy dirt road. We assumed if she can give us this price today then she can give us the same price tomorrow as well even though she said it was just for today.

After checking into the hostel, we checked out more tours but we didn't find a way to rent a car nor cheaper tour. So Angelica went back to la torre and asked same old lady to take us tomorrow for same discounted price she offered but she said no.

Next morning an hour before their departure I asked her to give a tour for the same price and she agreed. When all of us got there with our bags, we raised price from what we originally agreed on. It was not. Huge amount but I was annoyed that she lied to my face.

On top of that she was lying to this girl to pressure her to go on tour same day as us. I didn't want anymore people because I wanted space in the car. Alex used to have Toyota Landcruiser and third row seats are small and have tiny leg room. This girl was American and she wanted to go with her fri end next day but the owner lady from the la torre would lie to her and say that we really want her to go with us so we can pay less. Tupiza, all tour companies had their price structure where more people go less you pay. So if you are a single traveler you just have to wait it out and see if more people will come and if you are on a tight busy schedule then expected to pay significantly large amount.

Since the owner does not speak English, I told her the truth and we both got what we wanted. Now it's time to pay. I asked to pay with my card and she said there is 10% charge. Which means I would pay extra $30usd. I didn't like that so I went to ATM and that is when I learned that I had lost my debit card, most likely in tarija. I looked every where but didn't find it. By the time I called the bank to close the cards it was 10am.

I dont have enough cash and didn't want to pay 10% fee. At this point I was feeling bad vibe from La torre tour and I was stressed and annoyed that I lost my debit card.. So I told her we can't do the tour today and she laid her desperation upon Angelica.

Lady was upset because now it is 10am, there is a single traveler who has been waiting for us three. I think she was upset by the fact that she lost out on money she could earn and she had already purchased food worth of three days. I felt bad was almost tempted to use my credit card despite high fee. But then she pissed me off by keep saying thAt $30 usd extra for credit card fee is nothing for me and I responded right away "para it, si" "for you, yes" at this point I was assuming that she said high credit card fee so she can keep the money to herself. Because I never saw credit card fee more than 5%.

I asked the driver to unload the bags off the Landcruiser. Because now I want to wait and transfer money over to my other bank, connecting my fidelity and new bank account would take minimum 4 days.

Here is when crazy things started happening. Owner lady who is pissed off, yelling "if you don't have money, don't travel" and when driver was handing Angelica her bag, she took it away and threw it at her face.

It made me more sad than angry. It was my fault to cancel the tour on her but at the same time, she is an entrepreneur which means she oversees the risk of running the business and this is her risk. Sometimes shit happens and her turning violent was unprofessional and I was sadden this unpleasant situation. It was especially tough on angelica who is always full of love and kind. After that we got on the bus to uyuni and Angelica did not talk until we arrived in uyuni. She was very hurt by it. I was too. I always want to get along with locals and help out the local economy and this was opposite of what we wanted.

In uyuni we met a cool guy named Nelson through couchsurfing and he let us stay in his hostel for free. He was knowledgeable and had his tour company and so we decided to go with his company. We liked Nelson a lot. He also liked a lot of Japanese and Korean culture, music, customs and we shared information and knowledge. He explained to us what Bolivians are like. Bolivians do not like foreigners and don't like to mix. They see foreigners as dirty ones because they are sexually open and they spread AIDS. I was shocked by this because foreigners probably practice safer sex was my opinion. When Bolivians travel, they travel short time but spend lots of money and go completely out of money, empty handed after their vacation. You travel, you spend the money and just enjoy and lie life is how they are. After talking to Nelson we all understood behavior of Bolivians from amazon to uyuni.

So our journey to the desert began.
Us three, two Japanese and two Australians. We all got along. They didn't speak Spanish. One austrailian spoke a little but not enough to listen. Our guide/driver was not nice. I did not like him. He was demanding and rushing. No customer service oriented attitude. Almost made the trip unpleasant. Everything had to go his way. Austrailian and Japanese followed. Every amazing stop we made, us three wanted to live that moment and absorb. This desert was the reason why I altered my travel plan. It was everything I expected, hoped for and more!!

It was best scenic view I had in all travels. It was incredible, mind blowing. We took some amazing pictures together. First night we stayed in salt hostel. The wall, chairs, table, bed frame and windows were all mad out of salt. Salt bricks and salt filling. They have to maintain it. I was kidding about the window. We were served with food and drink. tthis moment we were at 5000m and I was suffering serious altitude sickness. I drank several cups of coca tea and chew bags of coca and then went to sleep. In the morning I felt fine, but at the end of the day altitude sickness reoccurred. I having a very bad headache. I didn't talk to anyone. Did not complain, nor did I talk. Angelica did not like this. Ben was fine. He is used to me being this way.

During the day I was ok, at night I was in pain. This pain carried on even in uyuni when we returned. It was weird because I was fine initially in uyuni.

I smoked some pot to ease the pain and made it worse.

That night we stayed in Nelson s hostel again.

Everyone went to bed, Angelica and I stayed outside. She had something important to say. It was a breakup talk. She said she will go south and no longer travel together. She told me many reasons. I was shocked. I kind of expected this two cities before uyuni but I thought she had changed her mind and decided to travel together until cusco. I was very sad. We talked and talked, but as I have been in this situation with Abby. I gave angelica space and respected her decision, instead in actions I told her that I still want her to stay and continue to travel together. Next day, she were coping pictures from my iPhone and Ben s ipod to her computer. Mood was very serious.

Angelica was on the fence at this moment and left it up to Ben. Ben first said that we should all split up. Ben goes to chile and I go on my way toward US. Then few seconds later he changed his mind and said lets travel together a bit longer.

So we did and together headed toward sucre. We rested in sucre, enjoyed the most developed city in Bolivia, we cooked lots of food, ate lots of ice cream, walked around, played with henna tattoo, played arcade games, waxed our shoes, sleep in, hot shower, wifi, etc. after month of amazon trip and desert trip and everything in between, we were just excited to do all those normal daily activity of urban place.

Angelica wants to ride a motorcycle in the desert and explore the desert on her own and so do I.

Ecuador

Rented a car to explore ecuador and look for ayahuasca with Ben.
Good thing that country is small, gas is cheap and rental price was not ridiculous like Bolivia and Peru.
Out of 7 days, slept in a car for one day.

Crazy experience... Hmm I always have in each country and each city. Its too bad I did not record them well.

In Guayaquil, going to three different gay clubs and transvestite club.
Near napa, falling deep into the mud when I running to look for a secluded place to shit. By then I got so used to making the world my bathroom anywhere I didn't see people.
Driving super fast to make it to the appointment at the us embassy and still late forty min but no trouble.
Finding out that I had to fly out of Ecuador because I am getting permit to enter us from there which racked up hella on airplane ticket.
Missing my plane in Quito and couldn't transfer the ticket to next day because I had to enter US that day. My plan was to pay $125 from bogota to fort lauderdale. I ended up paying over $800 to enter US.
Not faking a plane ticket at the us embassy to spend more time with Ben,
Be taken to four different prostitute clubs by taxi driver when I asked him to take me to after party where there is electronic music. And paid him $25. It was like dollar per min.
Smoking so much of shitty pot for days and days with Ben only to not get high at all.
Entering US so easily that I didn't feel triumph over all my effort to enter US.
Ayahuasca had missing ingredient and didn't feel or see what I expected. Drank who beer bottle filled ayahusca after feasting for 20 hours, puked, shitted, slept. I saw fat smiling budda on the wall for hours. I just stared. One time, I was laying to sleep, budda turned into a scary looking skull so I stayed awake.
Bought a big pot from street food vendor for $5 and gathered firewood off streets and cooked rice, chicken soup, fame with it. I could have done it longer and more.
Spotting super fresh fish for a dollar in a small beach fishing town near montanita
Arriving in montanita only to be disappointed by.
Bungee jumping for the first time.
Driving in a fog filled mountain hidden road, only to be scared by it and turn around.
Visiting children Quechua school only to not volunteer, just talk about condition and play soccer with kids. One of the girl let me taste her candy, reminded me of a candy in Korea. I wrote on whiteboard to test their math skills.
Boiled water and showered in volunteer program hostel.
Visited monkey house where monkeys from trafficking lived. Vicious monkey tried to steal Ben s glasses and my necklace. Saw turtles having sex. Watched mommy monkey sharing food with other monkeys,
Went to the zoo and saw wild cats including lions. Monkeys grabbed my hand. One mean one tried to piss at me. Saw tapiz for the first time.
Finding out Ben is still in Quito to this day. Told him to get out of there and go see the world. He might take longer to see each region than me.

My new ride

After grueling research and checking out 5 bikes, I finally made a decision to buy this from Brazilian guy who never rode the bike.

After arriving in Orlando on nov 28 2012. I had one mission to accomplish and had been focused on it. It was to find my own transportation. I knew even before landing in states that I was not going to rely on public transportation and it became clearer when was riding bus from airport to meet with me couchsurfing host.

Already had done research one what I wanted. Had no intention to get a car and had my mind set on Harley Davidson Sportster. After research it indeed is a good reputable bike that is reliable and powerful but also more expensive.

I had trouble deciding on price range and after taking to some people and Internet research, I decided that it had to be newer than 2004 due to its rubber mound on engine, less vibration which meant comfort for long distance riding.

Finally found one that I liked, it was in my price range. It had low miles and had all accessories I was looking for which are saddle bags, shield and comfortable seat.

Through CS I met a bike custom builder and he was met with me and came to check out the bike. When I saw the bike starting up I was already ready to pay the down payment and take the bike away but my new friend stopped me and told me that bike is bad. I was super disappointed but later was glad.

After talking over with him, I knew I had to bump up my price range.
After four days later, I was signing a title.

2004 Harley Davidson 883 1800 miles $4600. I signed it off as a gift to avoid 7% Florida sales tax. Got me a new license plate but no license.

Florida requires everyone to take safety course and it is $200. I Georgia I can pay $10 to get a permit and later skill test for $25.

So I rode up to Atlanta from st Petersburg. I rode long road trips in south America on my bike but riding in states is quite different. It's actually quite boring half the time, scary other half the time.

It is boring because view from the freeway is limited and it is just straight shot.
It is scary because I'm going way faster than I used to, there are multiple lanes where fast cars and big trucks passing by.

This is a five hunger pound big bike. I used to have a bike that I could pick up rear tire with my hands.

So. First day with my bike I took on 10 hours long ride. I had a late start so I ended p arriving in Atlanta at 10pm. It was so cold. This temperature is not too bad. I have been in colder temperature than this before but high speed on the interstate makes everything so damn cold.
To try out and save money I didn't buy gloves or protective glasses. The guy sold me the bike gave me a classic Harley helmet that only covers head itself.

I was shivering for hours but determined to make it to my destination. Giving up is never an option. This determination and drive almost got me killed twice in Colombia. Thing is... If I crash with this bike on freeway I am really guaranteed to break some bones, permanent damage and really could die. It reminded me of friend Troy's death with his Harley. I could see why there were many older bikes with low milage. For god sake, this bike is almost 9 years old and only ridden for 1800 miles. Then I heard that many people have bikes for weekend pleasure. It's like a recreational or their own extreme sport rather than means of transportation. Suddenly I felt brave but still nervous to maneuver the bike on turns on the freeway.

After many hours, I could not feel my hand anymore, my shoulders were in pain, I am wearing my underarmour, my Seattle marathon long sleeve shirt, leather jacket and wool jacket, and jeans and I am still shivering. I stopped McDonald three times to use wifi. Stopped in gas station every 100 miles due to my tiny tank. That only hold About 3 gallons.

Suddenly I felt my dorman travel blood rushing over me. Its been awhile since I felt cold wind and aching muscle on body. Oddly this feel normal for me. I like it. If I die doing this, I am just sorry for my parents. Don't expect anyone to cry for me or miss me. By now I think I have distanced myself far from everyone in my life that it won't cause any significant pain or damage in anyone. I never told this to anyone because I can always imagine them looking at me with sadness or pity, I don't live in that world because I am ok. No pity. It feels cool that I don't live that life. Perhaps I have seen enough action movies and read enough hero portrayed books.

Yet I am still searching for someone or some people who I can share the passion for dancing to electronic music and motorcycle traveling.

Tomorrow I am going to call a girl who lost I've 100lbs and traveled across US on her Harley. I hope she dances to electronic music.

Traveling for a year did not found me a way to make money. But it did indeed accomplish my goal which was to find my passion. Very surprisingly it was actually opposite of who I was.

Non money related conversations. Sharing wisdom not knowledge.
Removing ego and growing compassion and love.
Having peace and not caring too much about little things.
Faith in intuition and vibration.
Loving myself for who I am, no need to lie to make myself cool front of others.
Just be. Just be here and now.
No bullshit talks.
Just travel, remember the people who showed kindness and feel regret for those who I did not helped. That's travel for me. I don't need to be a tourist. I am just passing through. Just observe. Just listen. Just smell. Just feel.

Anger, sadness, disappointment, let them go.
Embrace laugh and scream. Close my eyes, listen to music and let the body move.

Perhaps now I have folded the business world completely. No more questioning meaning of life or who I am.

I just realized I have only taken one photo since I arrived in states nov 28 2012. Thats too bad. No culture shock. Nothing visibly exciting worthy enough of a photo.

Armand, us history buff in orlAndo. Fabrizio CS host in st Petersburg who let me borrow his car, Alex bike builder who only showed me one bike and very unreliable with time and meeting, Hilo the guy who sold me the bike and keary host in Atlanta who really is not pretentious.

Amazon - Noel kempff mercado park

Noel kempff mercado Park - Amazon

Had several options for entering amazon. After checking out some blogs and lonely planet decided to go to parque Noel kempff mercado. This is known for most difficult to enter, most exotic, unbeaten path. It was chance to see exotic animals.

Took a 20 hour bus ride from La Paz to Santa Cruz. From the Plaza in Santa Cruz, went to the terminal, then angelica took charge and we went behind through the tunnel to find bargain deal. There were colectivos in the back instead of buses. Angelica is very good at getting what she wants and negotiation. We make a great team for that.

Spent a night in concepcion. Ben and I had street food, we both got diarrhea. We missed the morning bus to go to San Ignacio. Since we didn't find any tour company or way to get up to Florida (destination) from concepcion, we must go to San Ignacio.

Next bus is not for another 6 hours. Thankfully We hitch hiked. The nice driver told us that he traveled Europe with a back pack. We told him that we are heading to Parque Noel Kempff. He told us he is going close to Florida. Showed us where it is on the map. Great. We then was dropped off at Santa Maria, small village of about six families. We took a new road which opened in december 2011. we moved faster than I had anticipated we would move. Later upon leaving amazon I learned that travel time between concepcion and San Ignacio is about 5 hours.

From Santa Maria, we ordered a drink at the shop, used well water (bomba) to wash our face, arm, and neck. The road is not paved from concepcion and car had both windows open. You could see clear line where our sun glasses were. Three drunk people in a car came to the store where we were. I asked them to take us to Florida, after few chat we agreed for 200 bs. Angelica was excited. Then grew worrisome when the shop owner was walking toward drunks.
"let's hurry. We got a good deal and I dont want that guy to talk to them"
But it was too late, deal broke off and they left.

I was upset but since he has a car front of the shop and we were sitting at his bench table. I held back. This shop owner had an attitude, cocky or confident. Deeply leaned back on his wooden chair sharpening his knife while his rifle leans against the wall next to him. I embraced, kept my enemy closer by giving him the beer that I just purchased for the drunks.

He then offered to take us for 900 bs. I was rediculed after I calculated what a reasonable price should after calculating with distance, gas price, gas per milage( with km) and added 25% profit for them came out to 220bs. So I wrote this on a piece of paper to negotiate with him, then I saw cloud of dust coming from the road, Angelica ran out to the road, she then told us to get our bags. This truck is going toward Florida. It was a big logging truck. He was coming from Santa Cruz to pick up trees in the forest where located in right turn from la Mechita, first left after second bridge. We arrived in a big open ar ea, there were many big logs laying down, gea and huts. There were people living in the tents. A guy who is in charge, Marcial gave us mattress to sleep on. The lady brought us chicken soup with rice. We were very greatful.

Next day, Marcial told us that we would be going with ToCaYo. He was different than Marcial and the rest of the people. He came into the the kitchen hut where we slept. He looked at us and that was it. I was certain that he knew why we were here. Later learned that he was in charge of whole operation. Him and Marcial seemed to be the only ones who have cars. We waited all morning, because they were working. Towards the mid afternoon I walked toward ToCaYo. He walked towards the area where all the workers chilling, he positions himself by leaning against the table and crossing his arms.

"ToCaYo. Si usted va para florida, Podríamos ir contigo?"
"No, es solo para empleados"
"vale" i said

I walked away. Th en all the guys yelled, made gestures that it was a joke and we are leaving soon, get your bags. Angelica sat inside and Ben and I were on the bed of the truck. We were quite enthused for hitch hiking all the way to Florida. Getting to Florida took about an hour.

We got dropped off at this house. Angelica expressed annoyance because ToCaYo and other people in the car were saying really mean things about Marcial. This house was a hostel, owned by ToCaYo's sister., Doña Adel. They had a telephone that was powered by sun light. Beds with wooden floor. Price was written on the wall. 10 desayuno, 15 bs y cena. 30 bs persona por la noche. We ordered lunch. Then jumped into the river to wash off all the dirt and sweat that we accumulated for 2 days and a half. We washed clothes in the river, hung them on the fence then ate fish, rice and veggies. That night a generator that powers entire town turned on, we charged our technologies and was greeted by big bellied, two front tooth, coca leaves on the side of mouth, half laying, half sitting mid aged man offered us a service to drive us to the park
He charges 900 bs round trip. And if we want him to wait for us at the base camp, it is $100 per day.

Next day we found a guide, he was the president of Guide association. Apparently there are 18 guides in this small town, probably 25 families.
His price was 160 bs per day. Tent was 20 bs per day, 15 bs for sleeping may per day.

We stayed at Doña adel's For two days and had two lunches, one diner and a breakfast. Gradually quality and amount of food decreased so we ate less.

Eve of our departure, Ben and I had San Pedro, psychedelic, taught Ben how to throw up.

"I can't never lore myself to throw up" said Ben
"finger!" said Angelica while making gesture finger going into a mouth and a big smile out of amusement watching us in pain.
"dont be gross Ben, no finger necessary, just bend over, keep your face to the ground, use our stomach muscle, tell your body to throw up while making this noise, ehh" said I,

Ben threw up green liquid few times then went to his own world and so did I.

Then we were greeted with surprise visit by professor who we talked with during the day about going on a boat trip to look for piraña and cayman (aligator). It wad exciting and exotic. Here we are at one the most remote place in Bolivia, inside amazon, on a metal boat that leaks, bright moon above us surrounded by bright stars of the southern hemsphere, air filled with birds and insects singing and we are quietly paddling. Saw birds, fish jumping, cayman running away from us with loud noise, huge turtle shells on the shore and its egg shales. We finished the night with beers.

Journey to the parque Noel kempff mercado began at 7:30am. It started with crossing a river with man powered ferry. It was exciting to watch the process and a car driving across with two wooden boards. Then we started seeing fallen trees blocking the road. Driver told us that they have not gone through this road sine August. I helped with machete. It was hard work, I was drenched with sweat. The car was Mitsubishi SUV but it was not 4x4. Road conditions were better than what we read in blogs, about cars getting stuck and having to push. That never happened. I just assumed because we came at the end of the dry season. At one point, we were stuck by road block, there were swarms of honey bees all over our face even crawling inside our shirts. I got stung twice. By the time we reached Los fierros, it was getting dark. When we were forming a deal, driver told us 450 one way to take us to the base camp but we said just to the Los fierros because we wanted to spend a night there and see the animals, which meant driver was going back but since we arrived so late, driver stayed the night then offered us 100 bs to take us to the base camp. I found this ironic.

In Los fierros there are abandoned houses, ones with beds and others with kitchen and dining room area. It was not maintained. There were cayu trees yielding fruits. We took some fruits off tree. Due to these sweet fruits falling from trees, I assume for the reason why there were so many ants. They crawled into shoes and bite. At one point, our bags we left on kitchen table and our food was filled with ants. There were Mosquitos too. We went on our night walk and saw snakes, birds and paw print of jaguar.

Next morning I had a hArd time getting out of my tent due to the swarming bees around the tent. I had to carefully get out, dust off bees of my shoes, moved tent to uninstall the tent. I have never been surrounded by so many bees in my life. I blamed this for the fruit trees. From Los fierros, we started our hike and Immediately saw two foxes. We walked around fallen trees. Then there was open area where there are no tall trees to block the sun. This area was called las pampas. The whole had been burned by fire and only small trees were there and they all had black suits on barks. It was hot, long walk with all our food in the backpack. We walked this for 4 hours. By the time we got to our El arroyo, a camping spot it was late afternoon. I preferred to go to the base camp, las lajas but our guide was in pain in his crotch from new blue jeans he had been wearing for trekking. We drank the water from the stream and made fire and food. When we walk, there are no bugs around us but once we sit down, all the flies are around us. From common flies, to mosquitos and black wasps. I had to make decision whether to inhale fire smoke and be away from bugs or the opposite. It was not pleasant but seeing wild monkeys on trees brought us to excitement.

Next day, we arrived in las lajas, it was one hour away. It was beautiful, there was giant rock bed size of four semi truck beds. We continued our hike toward la meseta, the plateau where exotics animal live.

Upon arriving to La Meseta, we shed sheer joy of grand view. View was absolutely astounding, better view than templo 6 in Tikal., Guatemala. Everything is flat except for where we were standing. It felt as if i was looking down the world. We marched toward our campsite, looking for animals and continued to amazed by the beautiful landscape of la meseta. We found water in the valley. Water was the cleanest we have had in our journey. After an hour of hike, we arrived in la meseta and learned that we don't have enough time to cover and explore la meseta thoroughly, especially the north side. However having a vehicle would be wonderful. There aren't any roads, just trails. This rarely visited, remote place, who receive less than 100 visitors per year had trails all around. Our guide Candido explained and told us stories of research teams and Noel Kempff Mercado. He spent a long time up here,,4-5 years. Then he was killed by cocaine lab people.

We saw deer that only lives in la meseta, snake and more bees. I did not see nearly as many animals as I hoped, expected for visiting amazon, nor did I think of it as mostly land and hiking up. I pictured being on a boat, crushing through reeds. That was fun in Florida, but not as exciting or adventuresome as this one. Apparently I have to come back in rainy season to see more variety of animals and fruits. Seeing guacamayo was our highlights, everytime it flies above us and make its noise, we would get excited. Their feathers colors known to be representation of amazon. Blue, yellow, red. Next day we went on a journey to find their next and see them closer. This day, before sun set, we went to a natural swimming pool. There was spot to jump into the water, there was fish but no snake.

When we got back to our camping spot we were extremly happy for less bugs flying around us. We are nothing more than food in the jungle, my body would serve many animals and insects with leaving nothing behind. Next day one by one, those black bees started to show up, not as extreme as below the la meseta. We were still scratching mosquito bites, at this point we can't tell what's what. Our insect repellent spray is almost gone which we bought in local market in Concepcion. We have red spot on our body everywhere from mosquito, ants and ticks. Yes ticks, Angelica who refuses to kill any insects and gladly share her blood with Mosquitos, reached her limit with ticks. These tiny six legged red bug with super strong jaw and back. Pushing it directly on to my skin won't kill. Pulling off my body, it grabs onto my skin so tight that it's jaw keeps grip of my skin only the body get pulled off. They are size of micro dot that you take for LSD. 1.5 -2x size of sesame seed. Longer they stay on your body, bigger they are. They can cause lime disease. They go to remote places of your body. I didn't feel them moving on my body and don't feel them biting or sucking my blood. Only though my eyes, I discover them. Under my knee joint, arm pit, my butt, neck behind hair, thigh, chest, belly, everywhere. I got paranoid and frequently checked my genital area. All three of us checked each other, but somehow thy continued to appear.

"ewwww, kill it! Disgusting!" said all of us frequently.

Killing process of quite careful because once they have been successfully removed from the body alive, then they move fast to run away from fingertips. I discovered that put them on my fingernail and use fingernail to terminate them. If I just push with my fingertip they don't die. Certainly stepping on them with my shoes won't help nor slamming a book at them.

After swimming for half hour, I went on a search for ingrown hair in my thigh instead, I found ticks, found a white, bloated one, still alive. So I learned that I couldn't drown them. They continued to exist on our body until we got to civilization.

Came down to la roya where our driver Enrique promised to pick us up at 11am. We got picked up at 1pm. When he arrived, he couldn't clear one tree so we walked to his car. It took an hour to get by las pampas. There were tree fallen from today already. Showed extreme speed of amazon, survival of fittest world amongst trees.

When we got back, Enrique offered to take us to nearest village hut where we can take 7am bus to go to San Ignacio. It's 70km away and he wanted charge 300 boliviano. So we said forget it. We washed ourselves in the river and our clothes. Had dinner and slept in the tent again. It was cheaper, we were used to sleeping in the tent by now and most importantly No Mosquitos. Dona Adele's hostel is filled with Mosquitos. Mosquitos nets are too small to cover the whole bed, I had a keep my thighs touching my stomach, knees touching my chest to sleep or be exposed to Mosquitos. I hear them wheezing near my ears, crawling through holes through crappy mosquito net. It sucked.

Next day, we asked around for a ride. Dona Adele suggested ToCaYo. It turned out that Enrique is Dona Adele s husband, ToCaYo is Dona s brother. One family business they have tourists. I wanted to support other locals. Found other place to eat, in fact they had a sign outside their house. This house was two blocks away from where we were. Service and food was twice the amount for same price and even served us unlimited limonada and juice.
Compared to tiny plate of food sometimes lack of food, this was hostel vs five star hotel! I would definitely go back. Lady s name was Ignacia Peña. But turned out I didn't go back because we found a way out of town. It was not ToCaYo. ToCaYo first said no not today, maybe tomorrow. Later in the day, he said for hundred dollars, he would take us to the small village (campo) where we can take a bus to San Ignacio next day at 7am.

I was rediculed by his price and his attitude but I remained calm and asked if he meant 100 bolivianos then he says no, he said hundred dollar or 700 boliviano. I was annoyed after spending lots of money to his sister ad her husband, this guy showed no gratitude nor kind gesture. We respectfully refused. Later he came to me when I was doing my laundry in the river and childishly gossiping to me about our guide Candido being gay and that he hoyos un with turistas. What are we? Are we in middle school? Aren't you too old to talk shit behind someone in a small town, front of kids and other ladies doing laundry. I smiled and asked

"Como tu sabes que el es gay? Probaste gay? Con el?" (How do you know he is gay, did you try men)

With smirk, holding his huge beer belly, leaning against his fat butt on my laundry board, he said he has and started talking about Candido s wife. I have had enough with him so ignored him and walked away. I wanted to tell him insult 'don't be a peasant, don't be a Indio' to him but since I have not figured out my ride situation, i held back. Later I went to grocery store next to field and Candida's house, the owned told me he is out of beer. So I asked him if he is going to get more, he said yes. Then we arranged for pay him 100bs per person to take us to San Ignacio. It was not bad considering it's 7 hours away. It was good deal for all of us.

We left town at 9pm. All three of us and two more guys on the back of a truck. Turned out it was Marcial who was driving. Back of truck was very uncomfortable and small to fit all five of us. However at 1am we stopped in little town, awoke young man out of his bed to sell us beer. Now bed of truck for five people didn't seem so small. I only bought 5 beers for three of us. Enough to give us buzz. But the owner of the grocery store, who scored beer money from me, bought lots of beer and shared with us. Soon all five of us were drunk, smoking lots of cigarette, chewing on lots of coca leaves and passed out except or Ben.

Next day we took a bus to Santa Cruz. Good bye amazona where lack of options and countless bugs. I have seen so many insects that I have never seen in my life. Countless swollen red marks on my body, soon to be gone.

Found couple more ticks on my body in Santa Cruz. Biggest one yet to see.

Sneaking into machu picchu

Sneaking into Machu Picchu or entering it for free

What started out as a joke became a reality. Angelica and I were talking about our budget for the Machu Picchu trip and all the other traveling we wanted to do in the rest of Peru and Bolivia. We started talking about sleeping arrangements, the train ride from Cuzco, Aguas Calientes, and the ticket price to enter Machu Picchu. Plus we were very excited to save money from Ollataytambo by sneaking in there. Therefore we entertained the idea about sneaking into Machu Picchu. 

"When I was in Guatemala, someone told me that there is a way enter Machu Picchu for free by hiking up from Aguas Calientes."

"Really? Where? How?"

"Hmmm. Don't remember the details, was not paying attention at that time."

"Well..."

That's when Angelica googled it. And found a way.

This guy Craig wrote a long detailed blog about it, but we later found out that it still is not quite detailed enough. So we watched a YouTube video about this guy entering it who then slightly deviated from Craig's details and went his own way upon entering. He already had a ticket but had a spirit of adventure. 

We took both into consideration and after four hours of hiking, bush whacking, and rock climbing we made it and felt glorious.

1. Introduction.

chisung lee: Korean. 27 years old. Fit. Ran marathon 10 months ago but since then no exercise. Not a serious mountain climber nor hiker. However, an avid  traveler who always looks for unbeaten paths.

2. Gatekeeper

It's a mountain so the road has to be like a snake, an s curve to go up. To get Machu Picchu, turn right when crossing the bus road the 6th times. When Craig was writing his blog, there was no gatekeeper, therefore there were guards on this bus route to check tickets, and bus drivers reported these hikers out of suspicion. Now this is not happening. You can wave at bus drivers and there is a hiker's trail built for the people who want to hike. It's got nice wide stairs, plenty of space, it's nice. However all of this is possible because there is a gatekeeper at the bridge to cross the river checking for tickets. So three options are to cross the river by walking in the cold water, cross the other bridge that is about an hour away or lie to the gatekeeper and say our parents have our ticket and they are on the bus. And...

That's exactly what we did.

3. Trail

At the 6th bus road cross in Craig's direction, there is supposed to be white plastic hanging on the tree to confirm that we are at the right place. We did not see it. However we were sure that we were at 6th road cross because I could confirm in my iPhone GPS.  One entry point looked like water way so we chose the other one that is closer to the curve of the road. We knew we were supposed to go straight and veer slightly right (south west). We did some serious bush whacking. The trail seemed more like an animal trail. At last we found a secret trail, a human trail. There's even a small wooden bridge.  We made a right then we arrived at the gate. The gate was closed tight with wire. To the left, there is a way to get around this. Climb a tall rock, and carefully get around. This area is widely visible from the top.  However if you duck down you can hide behind rocks. There are stairs where you can go up. Then you go through some woods and big rocks. Clean off bushes and dirt from your body and join the tourists and explore.

3. What we did

 

After lying to the gatekeeper, for the fun of it and the sake of adventure we decided to look for a trail slash bush whack our way through to the 6th road cross. The first entry point was very important because that would lead us to the trail throughout. There was barely any trail and we had to bush whack the majority of the time. Some times we would find some path which seemed more like a pathway for a deer then we would hit a dead end and bush whack some more. The challenge was finding an entry point into the woods to look for a trail each time we saw a bus road. Because of Craig's warning about bus drivers, we made ourselves invisible, and it was a rush because we were doing this around 10am and there were a lot if buses going by. There were a few times that I literally had to jump into the bushes. It was dangerous and thrilling. After our 5th road cross, we got tired of bush whacking and this time really looked for the trail. We were about in the middle. I walked right all the way to the corner where the buses turn. There were huge rocks and I'm not a rock climber nor did we have any gear. We went to the most ideal spot. It was the steepest. At one point we were using our hands, legs, knees and elbows, holding on to cracks of the rocks and sturdy bushes. One slip, one loose rock, one weak root of a bush could have jeopardized our lives or caused serious injury.  It was dangerous. Angelica struggled. One time she was stuck and could not figure out a way to keep going up. To give up and go down was also equally scary and dangerous. 

"I don't know what to do."

"Try grabbing on to that rock, can you reach for that bush?"

"Maybe this, give me a moment."

"Put your right foot on this rock as you pull yourself with left hand."

After we reached the 6th road cross, we carefully searched many different areas for the right passage. I found this open area near the curve of the road. I knew from here we were supposed to go diagonal. This area  looked like a camping spot because there was flat ground, burned woods and some trash. I went to the right because I saw a trail but that led to going down hill and my intuition told me, "no." From the flat ground where the trash was we went up hill. Then it started pouring rain. We took cover under a big tree, and I took out a cigarette. The moment called for a cigarette break. Shit, no lighter. We waited for rain to stop but it didn't. So we kept going. Following a trail, we would hit a dead end bush whack, again and again. Then I screamed silently.  I found a wooden bridge and there was a trail. We finally found a real trail. That led us to the metal gate. On the other side of the fence, there were remnants of Inca ruins. I was excited, we made it. We were so close. We remembered the directions of Craig and the guy from the youtube video. It was completely shut with thick wires. To the right there was a huge rock, so we entertained the idea of climbing over but it was wet and underneath was a cliff drop of about 20 feet full of rocks. I went to the left and climbed up. There was a big rock that I climbed up. The rock had about one foot by two feet for one person to stand on. Underneath was a cliff. It was scary but after coming all this way, bush whacking for four hours, giving up wasn't an option. The rest is glorious history. We checked to see if there were any guards, and nobody was there. We hid behind a big rock because we were in an exposed area. Craig went toward where the tourists were, but there were many eyes, so we decided Craig's way would only work early in the morning. The YouTube guy's way would require more bush whacking. We went a middle way. There were stairs, so we ducked down and hiked rock stairs.  It led us to woods and big rocks but no bushes. It was fairly easy compared to what we had been through. Then we cleaned the dirt and leaves off of our bodies. It was simple because the rain washed us off and gave us a great disguise. We walked along the Inca ruin trail where tourists walk. We knew we made it when we saw signs and other tourists. We were walking the wrong way from what the sign told us to go but didn't care. Soon that led us to the entrance to Wayna Picchu. Entering there without a ticket is impossible. So we left that behind. After checking the map, this is about where guy in the YouTube video ended up. We saw someone smoking a cigarette and asked him for a light. I took a long drag. Those who smoke can understand what this moment was like for us - victory cigarette puffs.  Filled with joy from saving money and successfully sneaking in, we continued our walk. Then the guard spotted us. I could see him staring at me from the corner of my eye. He took a step towards me and I whispered to Angelica, 'Walk faster, we are being followed,' my heart pumping fast, thinking 'shit, shit shit!' 

"Señor! Señor!" 

'Damn it!'

I turned around.

"Aqui no se permite fumar." (smoking is not permitted here)

Whew... 

We listened in on explanations of the guides and watched llamas walking up and down the human trails, taking pictures and thinking of what I would write in this blog. We stayed until the guards started kicking people out. 

Stock

Started travel again. Since late July, only made $2500 after losing $4000 with FB and znga.

Wasn't that painful experience. Missing opportunity pained me more than the loss.

I have no Idea what I learned. Was it a pure gamble? Intuition? There isnt one perfect formula. At the end of the day, I have to decide with given knowledge I have. There are winners and losers. A players and C players.

Selling after long patience of nothing then next day it jumps. That happened twice. That sucked.

Set a limit to buy early in the day knowing that it will go up. But it never came down from I saw, went out, then when I came home it jumped., that sucked.

Stock that was in my watch list, but for a week did not watch and missed out on 20% jump. That sucked.

I don't record anything down. Don't keep particular memories than above after thinking about. However something tells me that these feelings what I can call experience and intuition as it accumulates without a long period of pause or distraction.

Why worry about which restaurant can save me a dollar more when it doesn't even cover the commission.

detachment, alone but not lonely

I feel detached not only from materials but from people as well.
I had this emotional detachment some time ago. It was between oct 2010 and feb 2011.
It happened in 2000
it happened in 2005

but this time its different because I do not have anyone to be detached from. sure there some friends from states that I still talk to, but that has lost its touch as well.

There are nobody, no one that I maintain consistent communication with. I am alone. I was alone when I first arrived in states in 2000 but I had consistent email exchange. after a month my sister arrived in states.

So. right now. I have never been this alone. Yet, I still do not feel lonely. I only feel more independent.

There are people that I see occasionaly and two people regularly. However, just because I see them regularly, it does not mean i maintain consistent communication. We have known each other quite sometime, i would say about 3 to 4 months. We touched very basic things about our past. equivalent to what one may write on FB or CS profile. It was off to a great start because it didnt start out with passive question like where in the social hiearchy do you fit in, tell me how much money you are worth. tell me things that you own. tell me what you have in your brain that is worth money. this is probably US too. yet from the travel, i have never felt this more strongly than colombia.

perhaps that is the reason why these two people exist near me.

back in States, i used to get to know people based on tangible information, facts, interesting sharable stories and common experience that we shared such as work or snowboarding, paintballing, drugs.

now I ask less question and just be. of course this leads to less talking, more silence, just be next to each other or be in a same house, same bar, same restaurant. if someone does not who she is. if he is not aware of himself. it only contradicts with her action and makes him hipocritical without intention.  people change and learn everyday. who I thoght I was is not who I am today. certain things definitely do not change. perhaps other things are just dormant waiting to burst out. but will it?

i do not find people interesting anymore. only a few. very small amount gets me ask second and third question. yet perhaps I never really found most people interesting therefore, kept asking random question to make them interesting or I was just too busy boosting my ego by putting them down meticulously.

i am not in search of meaning of life anymore. I know the meaning of life. at least mine for sure.

I think world would be a better place if people do not live by others words rather live with consequences.
i think world would be a better place if people do not define who they are through others rather with their own actions and its results.

recluse

osho said. life is not a riddle to be solved. it is a mystery to be lived.

understanding of people living for other´s opinion. does it come from their desire to be loved?

something stronger than fear is hope?

Forget about the rituals, they remove us from understanding and clear thinking. rituals are robotic and systematic.

higher standard of living, conscious standard of living.

I enjoy my recluse yet contradictory and hypocritical for writing this blog that is public.
isolated, separated, divided, alone, solo,

i find myself talking less, listening but selectively. hardest part is nodding when I disagree. but let it be when someone is talking non sense just to feel their emptiness, i dont know why they say non sense, non meaningful, non important, mundane. If he feels full inside, why is it necessary. Is it to feel part of something? to socialize?to feel loved, connected, be together, cooperate, coexist?

I came across a quote that said we buy things to impress the people that we do not even like. does status give you power? but isnt love more important? to feel loved is more important than to feel power over someone no? to feel respected? is respect more close to power or love?

Where are the real people? conscious minds, who understand biological need of human mentality and spiritual need of the soul.

I want to have a get out of my body experience. Where would I go? I do not know. is time travel really possible? without any machine, beyond our imagination, can it be done?

if I assume, ants and birds are not as conscious as human, then perhaps we are not as conscious as God. Somewhere there is a higher energy, beyond this realm of human existence. So many books, religion, spiritual practice, history, point us to something beyond this reality.

When I try to leave my body, connect with mysel, I find myself focusing my energy or concentration or feeling toward  inside my chest. somehow I know and feel that it does not go to my brain. Same as when i feel sadness or anxiety, it is my chest that feels.

Why are people so unaware? so caught up on the surface and be blinded to what is really happening around them.  Why are they not curious outside of their world?=

Osho Meditation Ego

Connecting dots from the places and people I have met in my travel. one thing is clear that this has been a spiritual journey. I have met many travellers. From party travelers, drug, sex, spiritual, scenic, language, bicycle, motorycle and work.

In Guatemala, I met a Shaman who is from US but now living all over the world healing people. One thing that stood out about him was that he said we all have the ability to be a shaman, we all have special power it is simply matter of believing. Believing in the source where we came from. He was not a religious person but spiritual. He was wild and weird.

In Mexico, Mayan leader told me that God of Maya is Numers and math. they come from the universe by studying the stars. there are two hunderd and some days in a year. When she read my birthdate, she told me that purpose of my life is to become a bamboo. A Bamboo that connects humanity to spirits. My number is 13, sign is serpentine.

In Panama, I met a meditating massage girl. She told me about her strong philosophy that we are all one. We are here to love. She introduced me to Osho and Be Here Now. Be Here Now was also mentioned in Steve Jobs bio.

In Colombia. I met two people who traveled in India and learned meditation and way of living. There I read Osho. It has been fascinating.

Osho talks about many interesting things. He is a spiritual and religious person yet he does not belong to any religion nor follows. He does not exist in this earth at least in the body of Osho. Meditation is where we go clean the mind he says. Our mind is like our body or cars on the street, we collect dirt and get dirty therefore we wash. Meditation is where I can wash my mind. Ego is who we are, our personality. when we completely drop our ego and be alert we can attain something special or englightened. He says that we live many forms of lives, we are born and die and again and again.  Ego is like a shadow, it is always there. Faster i move, faster it follows, therefore I must go under a big tree where I wont see the shadow and that big tree is meditation. he talks a lot of shit about current religion because it became very systemetic and ritualistic and forgotten the real meaning.

How to learn a language

To learn a language we must understand that it is not only a tool for communication but also a expression of their culture. Representation reflection of their culture.
If you feel their culture upon you, you shall learn

Finally making some money in the stock market. I was happy to see the account finally going the opposite direction from where it's been going for the last six months.
Now I must take this process to the next level and see how far I can push.

Red lights

In Colombia I have ran more red lights than I have ever in my life. In fact I think I ran more red lights than green.

There are pros and cons to this extravaganza. Road condition more rough due to unexpected and unearned holes, cracks and uneven road. Very aggressive taxi drivers actually hit me twice. I was so surprised that one taxi driver trying to cross over to my lane during heavy traffic that pushing my leg and passenger's leg with his front bumper and had no problem doing it.

After 10 or 11pm, traffic light become a guideline. Anyone is free to cross red light, you can do it front of police officers.

During the day, delivery motorcyclist run red lights as if they own the license to use traffic lights to their advantage.

There are no stop line for the red light however there are unspoken line which is go as far as you can until you can't see the traffic light anymore.

Pedestrians are expected to run or wait because cars don't stop anywhere.

Yield? What's that? BE AGGRESSIVE BE BE AGGRESSIVE is the Moto. Of course unspoken.

I have seen people taking driver school from the road. However it is questionable how much that they learn because when I obtained my motorcycle license, all I had was medical exam and I got a never expiring "indefinida" license.

Traffic signal happens right before the turn or long before but it's also questionable because people just leave them on and forget about it so I never if they will turn or go straight.

Fancy cars such as BMW, mercedes, Audi and new Hyundai cars are safe to drive near by. They are careful, not aggressive, remind me of moms or middle aged ladies in US.

It is quite common for people to block intersection during traffic for their self advantage to go on their way. Honking is very common.

This is driving in Colombia and Latin America. Corea is quite similar.

Passport

I went to corean embassy for passport. Because I am an resident of USA they want the letter of transportation from US. So I went to US embassy. They told me that I beed to bring a Korean passport. So I have been stuck for over a month.