Ilan and I had some pretty serious conversation about state we are in right now. This conversation involved living situation, plans/predictions for next few months, our dynamic, satisfaction and inadequacy in life, where to draw the line between content and hunger. character of a person, disappointment, memory, feeling.
After spending the whole 3 day weekend with two girls, I don't notice whole a lot. Just one big fundamental difference. However, I must observe more. This is simple assumption that women desire for relationship of sharing more than men. Men become content in a relationship because his desire to be loved is met. Women are not easily satisfied and give more, by doing that sometimes men becomes spoiled. Women make the relationship work. if two hands must be required clap. A woman is hand is larger. It depends on her how loud the clap is. Men make the relationship work by focusing on building the life and providing; fulfilling women's need.
I may not go climb Rainier. Now this whole housing situation, outside control over friendship is slowly making me upset. When Ilan said that it may not be a good idea for me to climb rainier to avoid any negativity, I was bothered because i'm definitely not the one causing that anymore. it's ok. I can do it myself. it's called meetup.com
went to a fitness class today with Kevin. Totally kicked my ass. Weights were not even heavy but consistent pushing increments was like how Katy was teaching me barre3.
listening to infected mushroom. Have not listen to this in a very long time. The beat.. music is in the air... it's all good.
Ilan and I also talked about group of friends vs me living alone. It makes sense for me to live alone. It is logical thing to do. throw a big FU? no that's too immature of me to make a big decision on little thing like that. This is my life we are talking about here. Advancing in my life used to be the ONLY thing that I never second guessed to come to a decision. Never hesitated.... what the fuck am i doing... thinking...
Life in the 20's is to enjoy? like college is just to pass time because nobody want to work with kids coming out of college? living freely working 30 hrs a week and playing all the time. just make enough money to go spend it for joy of life. these are things that started to question whether i'm sharing my life with right person. Would I have enjoyed my life if I was sharing my life with someone who weighs advancing in life more than enjoying. There are so many variables to go along with this.
Ilan and I talked about second chance. He answered back very carefully as I expected.
How I feel has everything to do with my own interpretation, has nothing to do with outside circumstances. Within, I must interpret it with big end goal in mind. Think big picture and act on it.
Why do I keep coming back here? What is it about this blog? I spend more time here than my own hand written journal.
Getting more viewers on this now. many different countries, different platforms, operating systems. different traffic. sometimes I wonder who these people are and how they ended up here.
After spending the whole 3 day weekend with two girls, I don't notice whole a lot. Just one big fundamental difference. However, I must observe more. This is simple assumption that women desire for relationship of sharing more than men. Men become content in a relationship because his desire to be loved is met. Women are not easily satisfied and give more, by doing that sometimes men becomes spoiled. Women make the relationship work. if two hands must be required clap. A woman is hand is larger. It depends on her how loud the clap is. Men make the relationship work by focusing on building the life and providing; fulfilling women's need.
I may not go climb Rainier. Now this whole housing situation, outside control over friendship is slowly making me upset. When Ilan said that it may not be a good idea for me to climb rainier to avoid any negativity, I was bothered because i'm definitely not the one causing that anymore. it's ok. I can do it myself. it's called meetup.com
went to a fitness class today with Kevin. Totally kicked my ass. Weights were not even heavy but consistent pushing increments was like how Katy was teaching me barre3.
listening to infected mushroom. Have not listen to this in a very long time. The beat.. music is in the air... it's all good.
Ilan and I also talked about group of friends vs me living alone. It makes sense for me to live alone. It is logical thing to do. throw a big FU? no that's too immature of me to make a big decision on little thing like that. This is my life we are talking about here. Advancing in my life used to be the ONLY thing that I never second guessed to come to a decision. Never hesitated.... what the fuck am i doing... thinking...
Life in the 20's is to enjoy? like college is just to pass time because nobody want to work with kids coming out of college? living freely working 30 hrs a week and playing all the time. just make enough money to go spend it for joy of life. these are things that started to question whether i'm sharing my life with right person. Would I have enjoyed my life if I was sharing my life with someone who weighs advancing in life more than enjoying. There are so many variables to go along with this.
Ilan and I talked about second chance. He answered back very carefully as I expected.
How I feel has everything to do with my own interpretation, has nothing to do with outside circumstances. Within, I must interpret it with big end goal in mind. Think big picture and act on it.
Why do I keep coming back here? What is it about this blog? I spend more time here than my own hand written journal.
Getting more viewers on this now. many different countries, different platforms, operating systems. different traffic. sometimes I wonder who these people are and how they ended up here.
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