Wedding

Went to Tess and Tim's wedding reception. I saw many familiar faces.
Tess and Tim looked very happy and in my eyes it was real.
As a grown up, this has been my first time anywhere close to the wedding.
It caused me to think so many different situations, feel emotions and understand.

I saw wedding made some people moody. Some more in love with smile. Some are eager.
Which category was I?
I did not see some expected faces.

Had a great conversation with some of those people who I have respect for but due to past situations never really spent time together to have a real conversation. Reminded me of who I was to them and how I feel about interacting with them.

Why is this emotion came onto me? Best way to describe this was emptiness, no expectation, nothing, quiet, peaceful and inadequate. I wanted to cleanse, wash this away and get back to me myself. So when I heard about great rave scene on 3rd and Taylor in Portland, I was on the move immediately. I am not quite sure why I did not invite people, perhaps I didn't need their because it is not everybody's scene.

Tess' wedding reception ended at 12:30am. Got to the party by 1:00am. snuck in to EMERGENCY. 3rd and Taylor. Place was packed. Ben showed up later, turns out there was 45 dollar ticket, Ben found his own way in. It was his first rave scene. I left him alone to find his own rhythm to see if he likes and appreciates.

I was lost in couple of paintings.

at 4:19am Ben had it enough. Urged that we leave.

Hike with dogs did not go as I planned but better. It was more of scenic rides with multiple stops.

Went out to Chloe with Katy for a nice dinner and bonding time. We did not talk much, but felt very comfortable.

I found out a unpleasant truth recently. It has been bugging me since then time to time. I know how this goes and became an expert at dealing with it rationally. It is just one step closer to make everything lucid. Closure to the past has hit me with a big surprise blow but in the end it made me smile with certainty and knowing how much I have healed. scab is gone just the soft skin left.

What's next?

Keep doing what I have been doing. Play hard, work hard, study hard. Be a good one. Honest. Truth and loyal. Respect and patience. Workout, keep sculpting my body and soul. Be the person that I want then I shall attract the same people.