It is divided by where locals hangout and tourist hang out.
Majority of the time I did not have social life and just study and work out and run
Met with my French friends again so we talked on Spanish and went on a horse back ride and drank a little.
I Went For a intense hike to mt nose, from far away peaks look like a face.
Watched super bowl at buddha bar, the most popular bar. Watched super bowl and talked with guy from San Francisco, he bought me a liter of gallo. He traveled for ten years and lived in Thailand where he met his Japanese wife.
I left the town to go to el salvador because there isn't anymore to see and I needed my own time to study and really absorb all the materials into my brain before I want to go back to schooling. I found it meaningless to continue paying for school without fully learning everything in each step.
In the chicken bus, I met two girls who told me a about spiritual experience in San Marcos, another town in the lake.
So I decided to go back to find this Cacao, chocolate spirited person.
I stayed in same hotel room with these girls and they were on extreme tight budget. One vegan Canadian, who says she has string opinion about meaning of life and food. Once I peeled a layer, she lacked many facts and it was more based on her intuition.
I liked Japanese girl but she was busy talking to other Japanese girl who we met on the road and ended up joining us. They headed to hit spring and I headed to meet with Carmen who I met on CS. I stayed at her house and her family parents were nice. Once again I saw the difference in Mexican and guatemaltecans. They have less things to talk about and often blame barrier to travel or succeed with lack if resource especially money.
They asked same question as everybody else. My basic background, my family, how I made money, language spoken in Japan china and Korea
People here really do not know anything about Asia. I wonder how much Koreans know about Latin America if I were to travel there.
I was slightly amazed by my ability to hear their Spanish and amount of communication I carried. I have definitely improved. Now my Spanish is great for travel but still terrible to carry a deep conversation that I want.
I was disappointed about amount of money I have spent in the last month.
I went back to San Marcos and headed straight to Keith, cacao spirit guru. People welcomed me warmly. There were about five people.
I drank hot chocolate which is cacao butter with hot water. It was bitter as I expected. They offered natural unrefined sugar that was black for taste and chili to enhance effect of cacao. I took none to see the natural itself similar to my method of not adding anything to cafe.
Later I felt awake, felt sensation. It is far from psychedelic because I can remain in my conscious.
Other people would cry, moan, scream and talk to Keith to talk about their inner problems. Keith went to people one by one. One guy told me that I was skeptical and masculine when I showed up and later I opened up and let my feminine side express. It was true. He also said that I was close to opening the door to my deepest sadness which was rubbish.
I had no desire to go there and it is not what I am seeking nor see the point of going there.
Two people told me, who had many experience in this ceremony that it is good to reach in that place and release but I don't think I have anything to release. I fought, denied, studied, understood, dealt with and released that upon breakup with Abby and living with randy.
things that I want to deal with in my spiritual experience are my motive for action, my good and evil, purpose of my life, preparation for my next chapter of my life to create biggest impact that I can make in this world and figure out how I can provide the most value to the world; continue to imagine unthinkable, stay sharp, rational but also deep in connection with my emotion and intuition, living everyday with passion and occupied, and most importantly my desire to make money, ego and being a good person.
My mayan astrology experience said that I must remove all my materials and dedicate my life to connecting with spirit as if I was a bamboo tree that connects rest of the human world and spirit world.
I want to be richest person in my own definition, I want enough money that I can never worry about lack of resource in the most expensive part of the world and I want that to come from my dedication to providing people the value that they want, exchange for the value that I created to make their life better and happy.
I want to give to those who are in wants. It is pointless to give to ones who do not want change. Give to the ones that are motivated and inspired and want to provide value to the world just like me.
Peoples perception of capitalism and material is very negative, yet they all participate in it when they buy and sell. Especially when they look out for their interest first.
Even the person who does the meditation and yoga diligently. When I ask those people why they do what they do, answers are always because it makes themselves feel good.
What's wrong with capitalism, it is the people who created this very phone I am using to people who pump petroleum from the earth to people selling edibles and those who exchange their own money aka resource make this world go around and make this a place a bit sweeter to live in.
If it is always the same, it's not growing, if it's not growing, it's dying as it is predetermined place for all living.
I must become my own. Follow my instinct and intuition. When I am more my own, away from outside noise, dogma, outside noise, then I can become pure. When I am pure, I am dedicating myself to this world, fulfill my role in this world, live everyday where I can't distinguish between play and work. Doing what I want everyday and feel great about it.
That day feels far but my intuition tells me I am not going to be nobody, those days will come, dream will come to reality.
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