박수미를 맏낫다. 한국여, adopted. Canadian. Speaks French as a first language. Ingles y espanol as second and third.
Casa viejo cheap hostel
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Leon, Leon, Nicaragua
Bus from San Salvador, terminal oriente, to la union cost $6 for especial national bus.
There I paid $8 for hospedaje,
I tried to take the boat. Immigration required paperwork from captain of the boat but captain is in the island because boat leaves from there to Nicaragua.
Some people told me that bus is cheaper. Price difference they were saying was huge so I didn't bother looking into it deeper. But there are ways both according to people and lonley planet. Lonely planet did not have anything nice to say.
Bus from la union to San Carlos is $.90
Where I took another bus to the border which was $.50
I met a German couple. Both college students. One just finished transfer/volunteer work in Nicaragua for five months. Boyfriend visited to travel for two months together. They spoke good Spanish. We communicated in Spanish.
From Honduras border to Nicaragua border was $5.50
When I arrived there were aggressive bicycle drivers. Price was tip. I did not like but I went along with it because I did not see any people walking. They said bus station otherwise of the border was an hour away. Later I found out it was a lie as usual.
I paid $3 at Honduras border.
Then paid $12 at Nicaragua border
Bicycle guy said 200$c and I screamed that is almost ten dollars. I tried to pay him $2. He asked for more so ended up paying him $4.
Everything was walking distance. Little far for spoiled ones. Just fine for string ones.
Paid $2 for the bus from border to Leon then another $1 for the taxi to the centro.
Total for transportation costed me $19.9
Ticabus price was $20 from San Salvador to Leon.
I liked my experience better because I got to see more things. People near borders are not pleasant. Many aggressive beggars(I gave $1 to old man who later asked for more), aggressive money exchanging people, longer process for everything. But anyone can do it for the sake of experience. Aggressive ones also speak English.
There I paid $8 for hospedaje,
I tried to take the boat. Immigration required paperwork from captain of the boat but captain is in the island because boat leaves from there to Nicaragua.
Some people told me that bus is cheaper. Price difference they were saying was huge so I didn't bother looking into it deeper. But there are ways both according to people and lonley planet. Lonely planet did not have anything nice to say.
Bus from la union to San Carlos is $.90
Where I took another bus to the border which was $.50
I met a German couple. Both college students. One just finished transfer/volunteer work in Nicaragua for five months. Boyfriend visited to travel for two months together. They spoke good Spanish. We communicated in Spanish.
From Honduras border to Nicaragua border was $5.50
When I arrived there were aggressive bicycle drivers. Price was tip. I did not like but I went along with it because I did not see any people walking. They said bus station otherwise of the border was an hour away. Later I found out it was a lie as usual.
I paid $3 at Honduras border.
Then paid $12 at Nicaragua border
Bicycle guy said 200$c and I screamed that is almost ten dollars. I tried to pay him $2. He asked for more so ended up paying him $4.
Everything was walking distance. Little far for spoiled ones. Just fine for string ones.
Paid $2 for the bus from border to Leon then another $1 for the taxi to the centro.
Total for transportation costed me $19.9
Ticabus price was $20 from San Salvador to Leon.
I liked my experience better because I got to see more things. People near borders are not pleasant. Many aggressive beggars(I gave $1 to old man who later asked for more), aggressive money exchanging people, longer process for everything. But anyone can do it for the sake of experience. Aggressive ones also speak English.
La union
Stayed one night there. Many people stated at me I can tell that they were not used to having a foreigner there.
Three people who speaks English approached me. One lives in new jersey and showed me his connection with polices in US. He said his cousin is a officer and because of that he had a golden metal card that said he was a family member of police. It would be very handy for getting pulled over.
Other guy who lived in US for three years and got caught for not having papers and got kicked out. He has kids and family.
Met many people who used to live in US without paperwork.
Right before getting in the bus I had a meal. Very delicious beef stew meat, rice, beans and four tortilla. I said "cuanto debo?" y ella me dijo un dollar!!
It was the cheapest full delicious meal ever. I had similar meals like that and had to pay over twice the amount. I want that again!
Three people who speaks English approached me. One lives in new jersey and showed me his connection with polices in US. He said his cousin is a officer and because of that he had a golden metal card that said he was a family member of police. It would be very handy for getting pulled over.
Other guy who lived in US for three years and got caught for not having papers and got kicked out. He has kids and family.
Met many people who used to live in US without paperwork.
Right before getting in the bus I had a meal. Very delicious beef stew meat, rice, beans and four tortilla. I said "cuanto debo?" y ella me dijo un dollar!!
It was the cheapest full delicious meal ever. I had similar meals like that and had to pay over twice the amount. I want that again!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Copan Ruinas
Copan Is a very town. Not as many tourists and other touristic towns in Guatemala. I like it. Met very interesting people.
1. Barbara fang
She is a Chinese - hong kong, born and raised in new York. She is young and spontaneous. Bit loud and and expressive, has an appreciation for art and passionate about food but she is not fat. She travels cheap but not extreme to not enjoy the trip. She likes many things as I do. Definitely one of the cooler ones. It's too bad time is limited because I would have enjoyed hanging out with her for some adrenaline rushing activities. She has a experience in psychedelic drugs and she is find of it.
2. Old man from north carolia
He told me his stories about Vietnam war. He was in navy but majority time spent on the helicopter during the war he also took an advantage of military status and traveled the world. He one time traveled four weeks over the. He was allowed to and general told him "do you know you are awal?" he says "but general I came back!" general never said anything and did not write him because towards the end if the world many soldiers did not comeback from vacation. When he was telling me post stress trauma disorder and his friends story my eyes got teary. One soldier was left alone he only had couple bullets left. He was left with decision whether to use those bullets to kill himself or fight. He survived and went right back to the battle field.
Crocodile story and common sense story was funny.
I asked, "did navy, marine and army cooperate with each other to fight??"
He says with straight face "are you kidding? That would make too much too much sense! There actually would be a common sense!" I laughed very hard.
3.german brewer
I asked "why not brew much more and sell all over Latin America. There are nobody selling beer like this!" he say "why would I do that?"
"well, I think people are missing out, there are many great beer and they are drinking shitty stuff"
"that would create more work, I Am happy and satisfied here, everything us good. I have my wife, kid and this little bar, I spent too much time in Germany worrying about things, I am over 50, I don't want that!"
Traveling takes me to one of the most wild zones. Drug takers, spiritual people, old people who experienced war and burying their own child, guy with knife scar on his neck, person who experienced death, physical healer who grew leg and eye ball, chocolate spirit guru, robber who tried to steal my phone, rest of the travelers who are searching deeper meaning of life. Teachers, wonderers, businessman, women seeker, girlfriends, partiers, etc
There are really varieties of people and they all surprise me from what the seen like to who they really are.
1. Barbara fang
She is a Chinese - hong kong, born and raised in new York. She is young and spontaneous. Bit loud and and expressive, has an appreciation for art and passionate about food but she is not fat. She travels cheap but not extreme to not enjoy the trip. She likes many things as I do. Definitely one of the cooler ones. It's too bad time is limited because I would have enjoyed hanging out with her for some adrenaline rushing activities. She has a experience in psychedelic drugs and she is find of it.
2. Old man from north carolia
He told me his stories about Vietnam war. He was in navy but majority time spent on the helicopter during the war he also took an advantage of military status and traveled the world. He one time traveled four weeks over the. He was allowed to and general told him "do you know you are awal?" he says "but general I came back!" general never said anything and did not write him because towards the end if the world many soldiers did not comeback from vacation. When he was telling me post stress trauma disorder and his friends story my eyes got teary. One soldier was left alone he only had couple bullets left. He was left with decision whether to use those bullets to kill himself or fight. He survived and went right back to the battle field.
Crocodile story and common sense story was funny.
I asked, "did navy, marine and army cooperate with each other to fight??"
He says with straight face "are you kidding? That would make too much too much sense! There actually would be a common sense!" I laughed very hard.
3.german brewer
I asked "why not brew much more and sell all over Latin America. There are nobody selling beer like this!" he say "why would I do that?"
"well, I think people are missing out, there are many great beer and they are drinking shitty stuff"
"that would create more work, I Am happy and satisfied here, everything us good. I have my wife, kid and this little bar, I spent too much time in Germany worrying about things, I am over 50, I don't want that!"
Traveling takes me to one of the most wild zones. Drug takers, spiritual people, old people who experienced war and burying their own child, guy with knife scar on his neck, person who experienced death, physical healer who grew leg and eye ball, chocolate spirit guru, robber who tried to steal my phone, rest of the travelers who are searching deeper meaning of life. Teachers, wonderers, businessman, women seeker, girlfriends, partiers, etc
There are really varieties of people and they all surprise me from what the seen like to who they really are.
El Salvador
Met few meaninful people in el Salvador. Starting to form a concrete perception and opinion about city people and outside of city people.
1. People from the hostel.
Strong voice of opinion. Scheduled life.
2. Romel
No el quiere trabaja por nadie. He wants to start milk shake stand business as well as teaching martial arts at the gym. Currently working at school and studying. Has a daily planner. Doesn't have many friends. Only few close ones. Independent life. Always on the move. Not satisfied with current life. No car. Knowledgeable and fast with bus system as well as asking people on the street.
3. Natalia
Most successful life that I have seen from CS host. At least from materialistic point of view. Nice looking office, nice car for Latin America, flat screen tv, big house, 34 years old, one son. Friends and brothers with similar life. As good of a life in USA.
4. Paola
Has a car. 28 yrs old. Can afford many things. Lives with her parents. Works as a veterinary for non profit organization. Wants to study in USA, passionate about animals and her life. Went to a birthday party with her.
City people:
More sophisticated with knowledge. Like to compare, like to be busy, need things to do consistently, have more materials, have a broader view about the world especially things that matter to themselves such as politics, traffic, education, development of family, economy.
Town people
Rely more on intuition and Think closely about day to day base life. No concrete future for plan. Have lots of time. Pretty punctual with time still but takes things slow. Definitely have plenty of time and give spaces in time to get things done. Not much of a newspaper readers and unaware of what's happening outside world.
I cannot conclude what I Have learned.
Felt more learning curve from
Spiritual people. Maybe I have been brainwashed by city minded people but I can't help to pay more respect for them.
Focusing on one thing and dedication. All my time for it is still what I want. But at the same time, I don't want my life to be in a rat race, I want to continue to learn and grow because it makes me happy to know that my time was used well. Limited time is so true. Scary to think that I will be thirty soon and that I have not accomplished much. I think I will feel very proud for speaking Spanish well. I still have a difficulty listening to people when they are just talking to each other.
Walked long long hours hiking. But it was more walk in the paved mountain roads.
Walked downtown San Salvador at late night. Quite the adventure. I can see why people say that it is dangerous.
Take local buses around town alone no problem just by asking people. That have not changed other than being able to talking to people more than I used to. No lacking confidence to talk to stranger but other occasions still need to nudge myself.
Met strangers who ended up buying me beer and give me a ride back to the city. There are more nice people in this world.
1. People from the hostel.
Strong voice of opinion. Scheduled life.
2. Romel
No el quiere trabaja por nadie. He wants to start milk shake stand business as well as teaching martial arts at the gym. Currently working at school and studying. Has a daily planner. Doesn't have many friends. Only few close ones. Independent life. Always on the move. Not satisfied with current life. No car. Knowledgeable and fast with bus system as well as asking people on the street.
3. Natalia
Most successful life that I have seen from CS host. At least from materialistic point of view. Nice looking office, nice car for Latin America, flat screen tv, big house, 34 years old, one son. Friends and brothers with similar life. As good of a life in USA.
4. Paola
Has a car. 28 yrs old. Can afford many things. Lives with her parents. Works as a veterinary for non profit organization. Wants to study in USA, passionate about animals and her life. Went to a birthday party with her.
City people:
More sophisticated with knowledge. Like to compare, like to be busy, need things to do consistently, have more materials, have a broader view about the world especially things that matter to themselves such as politics, traffic, education, development of family, economy.
Town people
Rely more on intuition and Think closely about day to day base life. No concrete future for plan. Have lots of time. Pretty punctual with time still but takes things slow. Definitely have plenty of time and give spaces in time to get things done. Not much of a newspaper readers and unaware of what's happening outside world.
I cannot conclude what I Have learned.
Felt more learning curve from
Spiritual people. Maybe I have been brainwashed by city minded people but I can't help to pay more respect for them.
Focusing on one thing and dedication. All my time for it is still what I want. But at the same time, I don't want my life to be in a rat race, I want to continue to learn and grow because it makes me happy to know that my time was used well. Limited time is so true. Scary to think that I will be thirty soon and that I have not accomplished much. I think I will feel very proud for speaking Spanish well. I still have a difficulty listening to people when they are just talking to each other.
Walked long long hours hiking. But it was more walk in the paved mountain roads.
Walked downtown San Salvador at late night. Quite the adventure. I can see why people say that it is dangerous.
Take local buses around town alone no problem just by asking people. That have not changed other than being able to talking to people more than I used to. No lacking confidence to talk to stranger but other occasions still need to nudge myself.
Met strangers who ended up buying me beer and give me a ride back to the city. There are more nice people in this world.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
San Salvador
Arrived in San Salvador from Guatemala city. I took the Tikabus and it was $20.
I arrived in ghetto part of the city. Got a room in hospedaje, it turned out that it was place where people come to have sex.
Next morning I left and walked for about an hour to get to the hostel that I saw online.
Ximena's guest house, I arrived. It is in the neighborhood called colonia centro America. People are very nice there and dorm room was $7. Food and drinks are over priced.
My second day, around 1pm, I was sitting on steps front of the hostel. One young man about mid 20s clean cut and a beige side bag, pointed a knife at me and demanded my iPhone. I immediately ran back into the hostel and slammed the door behind and he ran away. Staff at the hostel saw this and immediately came to my attention.
It was my first time experiencing oh-so-famous central America robber.
I think he was inexperienced because he should have just snatched my phone out of my hand and ran.
Anyways, as I am heading south, rarity of iPhone or smart phone in general increases and I have noticed less pictures that I am taking as I am traveling further south.
I went to Universidad Centro America, UCA to look for Spanish class. It doesn't start till march. But I met a Korean guy there and his salvadoran friends. Next day we met in same spot and went out smoothies.
It was a valentines day so there were many flowers and Korean guy 황성은 have me two chocolates.
Then I met up with Paola who I met on couchsurfing and we went out for a drink. We had interesting conversation about me pushing "if there is a will there is a way" and her pushing "even there is a will, not always a way"
It was a similar attitude that I have received from traveling in Guatemala and Mexico. Comparison with life is USA is instilled deeply within them.
When I arrived in hostel there was a Chinese girl from NY. She is a couch surfer and cool. We talked until 2am. And I decided to go to Copan, Honduras with her to get dark German beer.
So we arrived today around 2pm. On the way here, I had s great conversation with a driver in espanol and we talked about how he can expand his business to next level.
I had been very frustrated about my terrible Spanish but today I was proud about how much I can actually hear and understand. It has come a long way but definitely have improved. I actually speak very well Spanish compare to other people who spent same or longer time in Latin America.
It would have been very useful if I studied Spanish instead of Japanese in school.
I come to learn more about Barbra Fang. He have a lot of similar taste especially in personality. She is only 21 years old and still need lots to experience in her life.
My intention is to go visit Util island then go back to San Salvador and spend time with my new friends there. But in terms of espanol it's not a good place because many of salvadoran Spanish is not clear and very difficult to understand. So far I have found Mexicano and Hondureno more easy to hear.
I decided that I am going to stay El Salvador until mar 9. Which is long time but there is a show I want to go to as well as march 21 in panama city. Burning man like show in costa rica is over $200.
Option1
Spend $200 for scuba lesson
Option2
Spend $65 for envision, 4 day event $65 per day without camping.
Option3
Don't go to those save money to extend my travel to Asia.
I arrived in ghetto part of the city. Got a room in hospedaje, it turned out that it was place where people come to have sex.
Next morning I left and walked for about an hour to get to the hostel that I saw online.
Ximena's guest house, I arrived. It is in the neighborhood called colonia centro America. People are very nice there and dorm room was $7. Food and drinks are over priced.
My second day, around 1pm, I was sitting on steps front of the hostel. One young man about mid 20s clean cut and a beige side bag, pointed a knife at me and demanded my iPhone. I immediately ran back into the hostel and slammed the door behind and he ran away. Staff at the hostel saw this and immediately came to my attention.
It was my first time experiencing oh-so-famous central America robber.
I think he was inexperienced because he should have just snatched my phone out of my hand and ran.
Anyways, as I am heading south, rarity of iPhone or smart phone in general increases and I have noticed less pictures that I am taking as I am traveling further south.
I went to Universidad Centro America, UCA to look for Spanish class. It doesn't start till march. But I met a Korean guy there and his salvadoran friends. Next day we met in same spot and went out smoothies.
It was a valentines day so there were many flowers and Korean guy 황성은 have me two chocolates.
Then I met up with Paola who I met on couchsurfing and we went out for a drink. We had interesting conversation about me pushing "if there is a will there is a way" and her pushing "even there is a will, not always a way"
It was a similar attitude that I have received from traveling in Guatemala and Mexico. Comparison with life is USA is instilled deeply within them.
When I arrived in hostel there was a Chinese girl from NY. She is a couch surfer and cool. We talked until 2am. And I decided to go to Copan, Honduras with her to get dark German beer.
So we arrived today around 2pm. On the way here, I had s great conversation with a driver in espanol and we talked about how he can expand his business to next level.
I had been very frustrated about my terrible Spanish but today I was proud about how much I can actually hear and understand. It has come a long way but definitely have improved. I actually speak very well Spanish compare to other people who spent same or longer time in Latin America.
It would have been very useful if I studied Spanish instead of Japanese in school.
I come to learn more about Barbra Fang. He have a lot of similar taste especially in personality. She is only 21 years old and still need lots to experience in her life.
My intention is to go visit Util island then go back to San Salvador and spend time with my new friends there. But in terms of espanol it's not a good place because many of salvadoran Spanish is not clear and very difficult to understand. So far I have found Mexicano and Hondureno more easy to hear.
I decided that I am going to stay El Salvador until mar 9. Which is long time but there is a show I want to go to as well as march 21 in panama city. Burning man like show in costa rica is over $200.
Option1
Spend $200 for scuba lesson
Option2
Spend $65 for envision, 4 day event $65 per day without camping.
Option3
Don't go to those save money to extend my travel to Asia.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Lago de Atitlan
San Pedro had a great musica electronica scene. Las tiendas, restaurants, bars, streets and gym all played. I was surrounded bye favorite music. Psychedelic was most popular. The bar la clau is a local club and Zoola bar were the places for drinks and dance. Although people don't dance, I danced anyhow.
It is divided by where locals hangout and tourist hang out.
Majority of the time I did not have social life and just study and work out and run
Met with my French friends again so we talked on Spanish and went on a horse back ride and drank a little.
I Went For a intense hike to mt nose, from far away peaks look like a face.
Watched super bowl at buddha bar, the most popular bar. Watched super bowl and talked with guy from San Francisco, he bought me a liter of gallo. He traveled for ten years and lived in Thailand where he met his Japanese wife.
I left the town to go to el salvador because there isn't anymore to see and I needed my own time to study and really absorb all the materials into my brain before I want to go back to schooling. I found it meaningless to continue paying for school without fully learning everything in each step.
In the chicken bus, I met two girls who told me a about spiritual experience in San Marcos, another town in the lake.
So I decided to go back to find this Cacao, chocolate spirited person.
I stayed in same hotel room with these girls and they were on extreme tight budget. One vegan Canadian, who says she has string opinion about meaning of life and food. Once I peeled a layer, she lacked many facts and it was more based on her intuition.
I liked Japanese girl but she was busy talking to other Japanese girl who we met on the road and ended up joining us. They headed to hit spring and I headed to meet with Carmen who I met on CS. I stayed at her house and her family parents were nice. Once again I saw the difference in Mexican and guatemaltecans. They have less things to talk about and often blame barrier to travel or succeed with lack if resource especially money.
They asked same question as everybody else. My basic background, my family, how I made money, language spoken in Japan china and Korea
People here really do not know anything about Asia. I wonder how much Koreans know about Latin America if I were to travel there.
I was slightly amazed by my ability to hear their Spanish and amount of communication I carried. I have definitely improved. Now my Spanish is great for travel but still terrible to carry a deep conversation that I want.
I was disappointed about amount of money I have spent in the last month.
I went back to San Marcos and headed straight to Keith, cacao spirit guru. People welcomed me warmly. There were about five people.
I drank hot chocolate which is cacao butter with hot water. It was bitter as I expected. They offered natural unrefined sugar that was black for taste and chili to enhance effect of cacao. I took none to see the natural itself similar to my method of not adding anything to cafe.
Later I felt awake, felt sensation. It is far from psychedelic because I can remain in my conscious.
Other people would cry, moan, scream and talk to Keith to talk about their inner problems. Keith went to people one by one. One guy told me that I was skeptical and masculine when I showed up and later I opened up and let my feminine side express. It was true. He also said that I was close to opening the door to my deepest sadness which was rubbish.
I had no desire to go there and it is not what I am seeking nor see the point of going there.
Two people told me, who had many experience in this ceremony that it is good to reach in that place and release but I don't think I have anything to release. I fought, denied, studied, understood, dealt with and released that upon breakup with Abby and living with randy.
things that I want to deal with in my spiritual experience are my motive for action, my good and evil, purpose of my life, preparation for my next chapter of my life to create biggest impact that I can make in this world and figure out how I can provide the most value to the world; continue to imagine unthinkable, stay sharp, rational but also deep in connection with my emotion and intuition, living everyday with passion and occupied, and most importantly my desire to make money, ego and being a good person.
My mayan astrology experience said that I must remove all my materials and dedicate my life to connecting with spirit as if I was a bamboo tree that connects rest of the human world and spirit world.
I want to be richest person in my own definition, I want enough money that I can never worry about lack of resource in the most expensive part of the world and I want that to come from my dedication to providing people the value that they want, exchange for the value that I created to make their life better and happy.
I want to give to those who are in wants. It is pointless to give to ones who do not want change. Give to the ones that are motivated and inspired and want to provide value to the world just like me.
Peoples perception of capitalism and material is very negative, yet they all participate in it when they buy and sell. Especially when they look out for their interest first.
Even the person who does the meditation and yoga diligently. When I ask those people why they do what they do, answers are always because it makes themselves feel good.
What's wrong with capitalism, it is the people who created this very phone I am using to people who pump petroleum from the earth to people selling edibles and those who exchange their own money aka resource make this world go around and make this a place a bit sweeter to live in.
If it is always the same, it's not growing, if it's not growing, it's dying as it is predetermined place for all living.
I must become my own. Follow my instinct and intuition. When I am more my own, away from outside noise, dogma, outside noise, then I can become pure. When I am pure, I am dedicating myself to this world, fulfill my role in this world, live everyday where I can't distinguish between play and work. Doing what I want everyday and feel great about it.
That day feels far but my intuition tells me I am not going to be nobody, those days will come, dream will come to reality.
It is divided by where locals hangout and tourist hang out.
Majority of the time I did not have social life and just study and work out and run
Met with my French friends again so we talked on Spanish and went on a horse back ride and drank a little.
I Went For a intense hike to mt nose, from far away peaks look like a face.
Watched super bowl at buddha bar, the most popular bar. Watched super bowl and talked with guy from San Francisco, he bought me a liter of gallo. He traveled for ten years and lived in Thailand where he met his Japanese wife.
I left the town to go to el salvador because there isn't anymore to see and I needed my own time to study and really absorb all the materials into my brain before I want to go back to schooling. I found it meaningless to continue paying for school without fully learning everything in each step.
In the chicken bus, I met two girls who told me a about spiritual experience in San Marcos, another town in the lake.
So I decided to go back to find this Cacao, chocolate spirited person.
I stayed in same hotel room with these girls and they were on extreme tight budget. One vegan Canadian, who says she has string opinion about meaning of life and food. Once I peeled a layer, she lacked many facts and it was more based on her intuition.
I liked Japanese girl but she was busy talking to other Japanese girl who we met on the road and ended up joining us. They headed to hit spring and I headed to meet with Carmen who I met on CS. I stayed at her house and her family parents were nice. Once again I saw the difference in Mexican and guatemaltecans. They have less things to talk about and often blame barrier to travel or succeed with lack if resource especially money.
They asked same question as everybody else. My basic background, my family, how I made money, language spoken in Japan china and Korea
People here really do not know anything about Asia. I wonder how much Koreans know about Latin America if I were to travel there.
I was slightly amazed by my ability to hear their Spanish and amount of communication I carried. I have definitely improved. Now my Spanish is great for travel but still terrible to carry a deep conversation that I want.
I was disappointed about amount of money I have spent in the last month.
I went back to San Marcos and headed straight to Keith, cacao spirit guru. People welcomed me warmly. There were about five people.
I drank hot chocolate which is cacao butter with hot water. It was bitter as I expected. They offered natural unrefined sugar that was black for taste and chili to enhance effect of cacao. I took none to see the natural itself similar to my method of not adding anything to cafe.
Later I felt awake, felt sensation. It is far from psychedelic because I can remain in my conscious.
Other people would cry, moan, scream and talk to Keith to talk about their inner problems. Keith went to people one by one. One guy told me that I was skeptical and masculine when I showed up and later I opened up and let my feminine side express. It was true. He also said that I was close to opening the door to my deepest sadness which was rubbish.
I had no desire to go there and it is not what I am seeking nor see the point of going there.
Two people told me, who had many experience in this ceremony that it is good to reach in that place and release but I don't think I have anything to release. I fought, denied, studied, understood, dealt with and released that upon breakup with Abby and living with randy.
things that I want to deal with in my spiritual experience are my motive for action, my good and evil, purpose of my life, preparation for my next chapter of my life to create biggest impact that I can make in this world and figure out how I can provide the most value to the world; continue to imagine unthinkable, stay sharp, rational but also deep in connection with my emotion and intuition, living everyday with passion and occupied, and most importantly my desire to make money, ego and being a good person.
My mayan astrology experience said that I must remove all my materials and dedicate my life to connecting with spirit as if I was a bamboo tree that connects rest of the human world and spirit world.
I want to be richest person in my own definition, I want enough money that I can never worry about lack of resource in the most expensive part of the world and I want that to come from my dedication to providing people the value that they want, exchange for the value that I created to make their life better and happy.
I want to give to those who are in wants. It is pointless to give to ones who do not want change. Give to the ones that are motivated and inspired and want to provide value to the world just like me.
Peoples perception of capitalism and material is very negative, yet they all participate in it when they buy and sell. Especially when they look out for their interest first.
Even the person who does the meditation and yoga diligently. When I ask those people why they do what they do, answers are always because it makes themselves feel good.
What's wrong with capitalism, it is the people who created this very phone I am using to people who pump petroleum from the earth to people selling edibles and those who exchange their own money aka resource make this world go around and make this a place a bit sweeter to live in.
If it is always the same, it's not growing, if it's not growing, it's dying as it is predetermined place for all living.
I must become my own. Follow my instinct and intuition. When I am more my own, away from outside noise, dogma, outside noise, then I can become pure. When I am pure, I am dedicating myself to this world, fulfill my role in this world, live everyday where I can't distinguish between play and work. Doing what I want everyday and feel great about it.
That day feels far but my intuition tells me I am not going to be nobody, those days will come, dream will come to reality.
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